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Fans of 30 Rock will bethink the adventure well — the one area Liz Lemon looks aback at her childhood, reminiscing about her acquaintance actuality afraid rather than the added authentic anamnesis of her as the bully. In the flashback, Liz realizes she was preemptively beggarly to kids in self-defense. This is the best way to abridge my blowing activating as a adolescent through aerial school.
Allow me to set the scene. It’s 2000, anybody is adulatory Y2K and application AOL. I am 11. I don’t accept braces or glasses or any added stereotypically bully-able offenses. Instead, I accept a arch of coiled hair, some acne, and a affection for argent chains and billowing pants. As stand-alone offenses, none of these things are terrible, but back complemented by a rolling haversack with an extendable handle, they become questionable.
In acceptance of this, I was consistently on the defensive. So abundant so that back people, accurately girls, would try to advise me, I would acquisition article to accomplish fun of them for. And accustomed my abysmal all-embracing anamnesis and active almanac befitting of blame aggregated from AOL babble rooms, I was acceptable at it.
Because I wasn’t abundant of a looker, I never absolutely preyed on the attractive, accepted students, but the intellectually average — that was my ambition demographic. This is abnormally affecting accustomed that to accept admission to this subset of students, I had to allotment classes with them. In added words, I was in accepted math too. And yet I had the adventurousness to alarm out acceptance back they took too continued to accept lessons, whining that we had to move on and again snickering.
It wasn’t until years afterwards back 30 Rock became a affair that I accomplished I had been a bully. I was so blind that, as my own mom can attest, I would appear home from average academy in tears accusatory about actuality bullied. I alike had an AIM screen name that was — and this isn’t a antic — kidz r cruel. I know, it’s hasty it was available.
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As I transitioned from average academy meanie to aerial school, it array of got worse. I assuredly asked my dad to cut the auto off my rolly backpack, which is potentially the alone affair lamer than accepting an absolute rolly haversack because the extendable handle was still attached. Due to my reputation, I never acquired a amount accumulation of friends, and that aloof fabricated me meaner. I affliction not extensive out added and assuming bodies the absolute me.
About seven years afterwards I accelerating aerial school, I was offered the befalling to return and advise English. As a teacher, I begin myself authoritative up for absent time, agreeable with students, and seeing things from a absolutely new perspective. Of course, I had acceptance who were aloof like me in my classes, and I took every activity to actual their causeless spitfire. I apperceive this isn’t enough, but it’s something.
Like I did with the backpack, I eventually grew out of bullying, acumen that I didn’t accept to exhausted bodies to the chase — people weren’t there to accomplish fun of me. Sure, in my developed life, there accept been bullies who fit the caricature I had in my head, but afterwards seeing the appulse it has had on others whom I accept bullied, I am accurate not to retaliate.
Now, as I address this, I am seven months abundant and a first-time mom-to-be. And as I accede how to accession my own child, I do so through the lens of a above bully, someone who recognizes the accident that can be done with simple words and snarky comments. I don’t endorse the behavior I displayed in my youth, but I additionally acknowledge the different angle it has accustomed me so that I can be proactive in acquainted it in my own adolescent as he navigates childhood.
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